Mugshot Cinema: Cher is accused of starring in what’s possibly the best rom-com of all time while slapping the hell out of an equally incredible Nic Cage.

Mugshot Cinema: Robert Downey Jr. is accused of acting the hell out of his role as a 1980s drug addict opposite cute block of wood Andrew McCarthy.

Mugshot Cinema: Cher is accused of lusting after a disgusting, devilish Jack Nicholson along with two of the other most gorgeous women of the ‘80s.

Mugshot Cinema: Robert Downey Jr. is accused of relentlessly pursuing women and not taking no for an answer in a movie directed by a prolific sex abuser.

Mugshot Cinema: Cher is accused of being the only good part of a sappy, weepy melodrama about a kid with a really weird looking face.

Mugshot Cinema: Robert Downey Jr. is accused of bullying a couple of nerds that just want to create a sentient sex doll.

Mugshot Cinema: Cher is accused of being best friends with a plutonium fuel plant whistleblower and being way too involved in her friend’s love life.

Mugshot Cinema: Robert Downey Jr. is accused of being an ‘80s punk crashing the party of Sarah Jessica Parker’s dancing nemesis.

Mugshot Cinema: Cher is accused of having “the biggest pair of melons in the whole goddamn state of Texas.”

Mugshot Cinema: Robert Downey Jr. is accused of being too tuff.