Mugshot Cinema: Cher is accused of starring in what’s possibly the best rom-com of all time while slapping the hell out of an equally incredible Nic Cage.

Mugshot Cinema: Robert Downey Jr. is accused of acting the hell out of his role as a 1980s drug addict opposite cute block of wood Andrew McCarthy.

Mugshot Cinema: Frank Sinatra is accused of stringing along his sweet fiancée while Marlon Brando shows him how to really treat a lady.

Wildcock: who’s really the Best Director? Hitchcock’s story about a boat full of Americans vs. one Nazi or Wilder’s compelling movie about insurance fraud?

Mugshot Cinema: Cher is accused of lusting after a disgusting, devilish Jack Nicholson along with two of the other most gorgeous women of the ‘80s.

Mugshot Cinema: Robert Downey Jr. is accused of relentlessly pursuing women and not taking no for an answer in a movie directed by a prolific sex abuser.

Mugshot Cinema: Frank Sinatra is accused of trying to realistically depict the trials and tribulations of drug addiction during the puritanical Hays Code era.

Mugshot Cinema: Cher is accused of being the only good part of a sappy, weepy melodrama about a kid with a really weird looking face.

Mugshot Cinema: Robert Downey Jr. is accused of bullying a couple of nerds that just want to create a sentient sex doll.

Mugshot Cinema: Frank Sinatra is accused of trying to assassinate the president and beefing with a sassy little boy named Pidge.

Mugshot Cinema: Cher is accused of being best friends with a plutonium fuel plant whistleblower and being way too involved in her friend’s love life.

Mugshot Cinema: Robert Downey Jr. is accused of being an ‘80s punk crashing the party of Sarah Jessica Parker’s dancing nemesis.

Mugshot Cinema: Frank Sinatra is accused of playing a tiny Italian stereotype in a movie that's only interesting during the attack on Pearl Harbor.

Mugshot Cinema: Cher is accused of having “the biggest pair of melons in the whole goddamn state of Texas.”

Mugshot Cinema: Robert Downey Jr. is accused of being too tuff.

Who will win the Highlander Off? Clones forced to donate organs to rich people or clones forced to donate organs to rich people while Bayhem erupts?

An achingly beautiful story about how capitalism takes everything from us–our labor, our bodies, our minds, and our love.

Mugshot Cinema: Frank Sinatra is accused of singing and dancing with Gene Kelly to flirt with pretty ladies, including a cooch dancer.

Who will win the Highlander Off? Psychotic men who rip organs out of poor people or psychotic men who rip organs out of poor people while singing?

Who will win the Highlander Off? A pig who saves a dumb kid and becomes a CEO or a pig who teaches us all about empathy?